1. I only wish you weren’t my friend, then I could hurt you in the end


  2. Well I actually slept last night for about 5 hours… Felt like 5 minutes though


  3. The songs the songs that reminded me of him they’re ruined


  4. "I know sometimes things may not always make sense to you right now
    But hey, what daddy always tell you?
    Straighten up little soldier
    Stiffen up that upper lip
    What you crying about?
    You got me.”

    "I can see you’re sad, even when you smile, even when you laugh
    I can see it in your eyes, deep inside you want to cry
    ‘Cause you’re scared, I ain’t there?
    Daddy’s with you in your prayers
    No more crying, wipe them tears
    Daddy’s here, no more nightmares
    We gon’ pull together through it, we gon’ do it”

    "And if you ask me to
    Daddy’s gonna buy you a mockingbird
    I’mma give you the world
    I’mma buy a diamond ring for you
    I’mma sing for you
    I’ll do anything for you to see you smile
    And if that mockingbird don’t sing and that ring don’t shine
    I’mma break that birdie’s neck
    I’ll go back to the jeweler who sold it to ya
    And make him eat every carat don’t fuck with dad”

    It’s weird how we both listened to different Eminem songs and they spoke to us… Kinda creepy actually.

    These parts of this song… Not because I used to call him daddy sometimes but because he’s willing to do anything in this song anything to make it right anything to show his love even if it comes out in an aggressive way .

    He fixed so much of me… And he broke it again…

    So now we just have to start again.


  5. I’ve got to stop trying to fix this.
    I look like an idiot


  6. Every time a car pulls up outside I get excited I think it’s him and it’s not :(


  7. I wish he would show up here :’(


  8. It’s stupid but I miss my collar :’(

    I miss being proud to be owned and having someone proud to own me and I miss the confidence it gave me.

    The confidence that I was his and I was exactly as he wanted me to be and the trust that he chose me and he owned me and he would never ever hurt me.

    It’s all destroyed


  9. So I picked white chicks which is supposed to be funny.

    The girl thinks the guy is cheating.



  10. It took me over half an hour to get dressed today.

    I ate a tiny bit of dinner which there’s no way I’m gonna be able to keep in me.

    I can’t pick a film because there might be something about love in it..

    I’m so pathetic


  11. I can’t get my head around it I can’t understand how could he do this how could he do this to me to us.

    This is killing me.

    I can’t stop talking to him and wanting to see him and I need to stop I need him to come to me… I need to see he cares I need to see he means he’s sorry I need to see him trying him not letting a minute pass without telling me he wants to be with me how sorry he is :(

    Everything is ruined nothing can be the same again


  12. Update

    This is so hard to write…

    My relationship has hit a very rough point, I’ve given my collar back and the future is very uncertain right now.

    I don’t know what’s going to happen and I don’t know if we’re going to get through this.

    I haven’t deleted yet because I don’t know what’s going to happen but I can’t face going on tumblr right now, we created this together and now everything we had is destroyed.